🌸 How can we fully enjoy our horses… when riding may no longer be an option?🌸
Feb 12, 2025
Sometimes, it’s not about what we *do* with our horses, but how we *show up* for them. As compassionate horsewomen, there are times when riding isn't possible or fair—to us or our horses. What’s an equestrian to do when “the dream” doesn’t match reality?
So often, I hear, "I want to enjoy this horse, but I need it to DO X." It's a real and honest feeling that, if the horse can’t do X, we’re often conditioned to think we need to move on to the next horse.
I hear this often, especially from those of us facing aging—whether it’s our own, our horse’s, or both. Riding may be our heart's calling, yet life asks us to adapt, which can be tough from an emotional and/or identity standpoint. And we need to consider what’s best for the horses and our own safety too.
I hear this often, especially from those of us facing aging—whether it’s our own, our horse’s, or both. Riding may be our heart's calling, yet life asks us to adapt, which can be tough from an emotional and/or identity standpoint. And we need to consider what’s best for the horses and our own safety too.
My Auntie’s Story
I’ve seen it firsthand with my Auntie, a lifelong horsewoman in her 70s. Even though riding isn’t possible for her due to family responsibilities and physical issues, her bond with her horse has deepened through time spent just *being together*: watching him graze, teaching tricks, taking quiet walks. This connection brought joy and fulfillment that has gone far beyond riding—thanks to the magic of positive reinforcement and a shift in perspective—she’s enjoying a relationship with her horse that she never dreamed was possible.
How can we enjoy our horses when riding is off the table? Here are some ways to connect and create beautiful memories:
**Pivot Your Frame of Mind:** Acknowledge that your feelings are valid, then find a way to reframe them. Sometimes, finding purpose in just *being* with your horse can open up possibilities beyond the saddle. There’s so much value to be had sharing time and space with them. **Be Present:** Embrace each moment with your horse—without the pressure to “do.” Show up with the energy you want them to feel. (Take off your superwoman cape!) Rushing, brushing, and bustling create tension; slow, gentle presence builds connection. **Appreciate Every Breath:** Take a moment to be grateful for your horse’s presence. There will come a time when simply being able to watch them graze or stand beside them will mean everything. **Consider Their Perspective:** Our horses aren’t here to fulfill our expectations. It’s our job to support them. If your horse has behavioral or physical challenges, consider them with compassion, not frustration. **Build Community:** Surround yourself with those who value horses for who they are, not just what they can *do*. If you're feeling alone, there are plenty of online communities full of kindred spirits.
And if we reach a point where we feel that we can’t keep our horses, explore the *why*. If it’s about status, sport, achievement, or competition, give yourself credit for recognizing that. And consider: it could be time to shift our goals or consider what’s truly best for both ourselves and your horse.If you need help finding ways to deepen the connection and joy with your horse through positive reinforcement, or explore next best steps for you and your horse, reach out.
I'm here to help you enjoy your journey, no matter where it leads. 
