🐴 If Horses Could Talk...Could doing Less Bring You Closer to your Horse?
Jul 16, 2025
Sometimes, I swear the horse in front of me is saying, “I really appreciate everything you’re doing… but could you just relax and BE with me?” And depending on the horse, I can almost imagine a sassier one saying, “Hey Lady—literally, HAY! Just back off, feed me, and be with me, would ya? Stop worrying. I’m not dying here, and I don’t need a full inspection or a Kevlar overcoat every single day!” 
Yes, I jest
(you know me!), but there's a deeper point to this. Horses are whole beings of their own. They’re here to share experiences with us, not to be “saved” in every single moment or perfected to fit our ideals. Of course, we want to care for them, help them, and make their lives better. But trying to make everything perfect about:
Yes, I jest
(you know me!), but there's a deeper point to this. Horses are whole beings of their own. They’re here to share experiences with us, not to be “saved” in every single moment or perfected to fit our ideals. Of course, we want to care for them, help them, and make their lives better. But trying to make everything perfect about:-
their health
-
their performance
-
their living situation
-
our relationship with them
…can be impossible, exhausting, and even maddening. And sometimes, maybe it’s worth asking ourselves, “Am I doing this for you, my beloved horse, or am I doing it to check my own boxes as a ‘super horse caretaker’?”
(Shoutout to Shayleigh Evans for helping me frame this concept!)
Horses, especially those we train with R+, don’t need us to be doing things to them constantly. They often just want us to be with them, building that connection. Realizing this truth has brought more joy and peace, not just to my horses, but also to my relationships and my life overall. When I finally stopped obsessing over every little thing, I found more magical moments, calm connection, and simply… joy.
If you’re finding that your “to-do” list for your horse is more stress-inducing than fulfilling, maybe take a moment to ask yourself what it’s all for. Because I’ve been there, and I know that trying to control it all won’t bring the peace and harmony we (or our horses) crave. It’s something we can all benefit from reflecting on.
Wishing you and your horse a relationship that’s fulfilling for both of you. May you find more moments to simply be together and enjoy the ride.
Cheering you on,
Melissa
PS: Can you relate? If you'd like to share your story, just hit reply.
