🌸REDISCOVER CONNECTION WITH YOUR HORSE🌸
Beyond the Saddle
"It's not about what you can do, but what you choose to do."
Not that there’s anything wrong with riding or to say that you’ll never get to ride your horse again, but given that there are times when we simply cannot...
So often, it’s not about whether our horse *can* do something; it’s about whether it’s *fair* to ask it of them—and of ourselves. Many kindhearted equestrians, particularly women in middle age or older, feel the pull to *do X* with their horse, driven by the ticking of time and the desire to create memories while they still can. Sometimes it's the horse’s age that limits them; sometimes it’s our own.
It’s a bittersweet reality: the years bring both blessings and burdens. Family responsibilities, changing physical abilities, and the unyielding biological clock can make the dream of riding feel distant. And yet, our horses are still there—beautiful, present, and ready to connect.
My own experience as a lifelong equestrian has taught me that true joy with horses goes beyond the saddle. My Auntie, a devoted horsewoman in her 70s, is a prime example. Over the years, she's sacrificed her barn and riding time for work, family, friends and due to her own physical ailments. And although she once thought that she’d never be satisfied if she couldn’t ride, is now finding pure contentment *BEING* with her horse. Taking long walks together, teaching tricks, or just watching him graze—all bring her joy beyond measure. She’s discovered that her bond with him is more than enough. This deep connection blossomed through positive reinforcement, opening up a world of possibilities without the need to ride.
If you’re finding it hard to adjust to not riding, remember that:
🌸**Presence is a Gift** – Spend time just *being* with your horse. Take a deep breath and appreciate just seeing them (even if it’s from a distance or through a window), BEING near them and the gift of their companionship. Just thinking of my horse makes my heart smile!)
🌸**Showing Up with the Right Energy** is incredibly important – Bring a calm, grateful mindset to your time with them. Horses are incredibly attuned to us and how we show up during our interactions with them matters.
🌸**SLOW DOWN** and breathe when you are with them. Take off the superwoman cape that you use to get all the things done in the rest of your life and give them the time and focus they deserve.
🌸 **Find a Community** – Surround yourself with like-minded compassionate equestrians who appreciate horses for who they truly are.(We’ve got options for online communities if you don’t have a local one - just DM Melissa Spell Deal for more info.)
Life changes, and sometimes so must our expectations. If your horse and/or your body / schedule can't do what you hoped, it doesn’t mean you can't still have an incredible relationship with your horse. It's often that the best is yet to come when we finally let go of our past goals and expectations.
Releasing old goals opens the door to new, meaningful experiences. And if you’re struggling, I’d be happy to help you explore how positive reinforcement can be the best thing for you both.
💫May you embrace your current experience with your horse… even if it isn’t what you had in mind. Connect deeply and truly trust that whatever is happening can be FOR you, and discover the endless ways to enjoy your horse’s presence with the power of POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT for you and your horse. And remember, I'm here to help if you need a hand along the way. 💙Melissa
