Choosing and Fulfilling Equestrian Goals with Heartfelt Connection and Intention
When it comes to our horses, goals can be motivating and helpful... or not - if we pursue them without an awareness of what is really happening from our horse’s perspective. I’ve been known in the past to vacillate from one end of the goal spectrum to the other. How about you?
2 Kinds of Thinking
Today’s discussion is going to address how we can use the 2 parts of our minds to stay connected to our horses and our hearts when it comes to making progress using goals and intentions.
From my perspective, we each have 2 parts of our thinking:
- The analytical logical side that loves to go after a goal with determination and drive
- And the intuitive, creative part that craves connection and nurtures relationship
(HINT: we can use our intentions from number 2 to choose and fulfill number 1)
BALANCE IS THE KEY to Heartfelt Intention and Connection.
It’s an opportunity – to learn how to balance these 2 parts of our minds, one that is simply part of being a human having an equestrian experience. And it’s an opportunity to develop a greater awareness and understanding of our horses and ourselves too.
It’s common for many of our thoughts and therefore goals to be the products of (or influenced by) social pressure, conventional horse training, instructional conditioning, busy schedules, real life pressures and/or agendas with little regard for what our hearts really FEEL. When we are influenced by these factors, it’s easy to miss what we know to be true for us and our horses and risk choosing goals that really don't serve our horses. AND THAT’S COMPLETELY NORMAL. There’s no need to allow our minds to make this a problem. It’s just part of having a human brain involved in an equestrian experience on earth in 2023. Thankfully we can choose to have a different, more heartfelt connection with our horses by being intentional in how we create and choose the goals we pursue with our horses.
For me, it’s also important to include the human element in the process. Because if the human isn’t FEELING REINFORCED when they spend time with their horse, the horse’s quality of life can suffer. Sheerly due to our nature, this can cause the human to visit less often, and even interact at a lesser level, which often leads to horses getting less attention, being rehomed, etc. (Even if the new home is amazing, the process itself is usually super stressful for horses and humans involved when relationships deteriorate or are severed.) Besides that, we all got into horses because we love them and want to enjoy them. So let's talk about how to intentionally choose goals that fulfill both the horse and humans preferences.
“And +R training is often the greatest source of enrichment that horses in captivity will ever have. So reduced visits and interaction can directly affect a horse's happiness and life quality too.”
2 Kinds of Goals
- ENVIRONMENTAL LIFE REQUIREMENT GOALS
The world we’ve created for our horses to live in sometimes requires that we choose goals offered by our analytical mind so that our horses might have as little stress as possible; therefore, enhancing the quality of their lives.
2. FUN, ENJOYABLE RELATIONAL GOALS
Or we may be in the part of our mind that is more intuitive, relationship focused and connected to our hearts. With this part of our mind, we can decide to create a goal that isn’t required by life, but one we “FEEL” we’d enjoy, or our horse’s would enjoy – at the same time.
Let’s go through the process!
Need help? No worries. We’ve got you – check out https://www.compassionatehorseclick.com/ for group coaching, course and community and one-on-one coaching – live and online.
The First Type of Goals: Environmental/Requirements for Life as a Horse on our Planet
The first thing that I want to reflect on regarding Horse related goals is: what does the current environment say that I NEED to do WITH my horse???? (Check in with my logical analytical mind for this list.)
The Second Type of Goals: Fun, Enjoyable, Relationship Building
What goals might be fun, relationship enhancing or created for sheer enjoyment? (Check in with my creative intuitive mind for this list.)
The most important thing to do now is ask a few more questions…
BUT before I do so, I’m going to take 10 second pause, maybe even close my eyes, focus on a few breaths to get present in my body, and as I ask each of the following, I’m going to let my mind watch my body (as Kerri Lake so often says when she teaches a similar decision making process). This means as I ask each question silently or out loud, I’m going to connect with my heart and see how my body FEELS.
PAUSE, BREATHE, CONNECT: ASK ==> FEEL
- Does the question cause my body to feel tense, uneasy or less comfortable?
- Or does it cause a sense of relaxation, calm, peace, or other pleasant feeling?
Using this method, here are the kinds of goal related questions I might ask. You may want to choose your own.
Environmental Goal Considerations
- Are these milestones/goals appropriate specifically for my horse(s) …things like age, circumstances, preferences?
Bringing our own wants and needs into the process is important. Pause, close the eyes, focus on the breath and Connecting to our bodies and hearts we can then consider the following as we check in to see how we FEEL when asking each question.
Enjoyment Goal Considerations
- Are these goals appropriate for me, specifically? Things like time, money, skill set, commitment level, etc.
And if any of the 2 types of goals don’t FEEL appropriate, it can be helpful to consider:
- Do I think and FEEL that it’s reasonable that I can prepare the horse so that the goals can be appropriate soon – meaning I can put them off temporarily? (Y/N) (It can also be helpful to ponder what your horse would think if you could ask - for a shift in perspective.)
- Or is it in the horse’s best interest to put them off indefinitely? (Y/N)
- Or is this something necessary for the horse’s health and well-being? (Y/N)
- And if so, what kinds of resources (community, coaching, equipment, etc.) will I need to seek?
If we FEEL the goals aren’t appropriate to fulfill even with the best intentions, resources and support available to us, we can consider if there’s some other goal that will achieve the same or similar outcome. Is there something that might be more comfortable for the horse? Or could we decide that we really don’t need to do anything at all related to a specific goal or context? You know your horse and yourself best.
If the goals FEEL appropriate then, YAY!
- It’s time to get in touch with all our faculties and use both sides of our beautiful brain!
- Get started. Create a heart centered training plan with loving intention.
- We want to ensure the plan we’re inspired to create fosters a deeper connection and clearer communication between us and the horses we love.
- NOTE: We may need to seek additional resources, community, coaching etc. THIS IS NORMAL.
Want to go deeper? No worries. We’ve got you – check out https://www.compassionatehorseclick.com/ for group coaching, course and community and one-on-one coaching – live and online.
Again, it’s super important to stay CONNECTED to our body and our heart as we ponder, so we can get a clear read on how each of the questions FEELS. Otherwise, the linear thinking analytical mind might get us overly excited and drive us to do something that isn’t a good match for us OR the horse.
Back to THE BEST part of this whole thing – Once I get my heartfelt intentions and goals aligned - I grab my training plan and head to the barn TO POSITIVELY FULFILL MY HEARTS DESIRE AND GOALS to INTENTIONALLY CREATE AN EXPERIENCE THAT MY HORSE AND I ARE SURE TO ENJOY!
Ready? It’s your turn to do this too.
With clarity, consistency, and lots of FEELING your way WITH your horse, I’m confident that this can be your best year ever.
“EQUESTRIAN GOALS ARE BEST FULFILLED WITH HEART FELT CONNECTION & INTENTION.”
Melissa Spell Deal
Exercise Recap: Take a few minutes to
- Write down 1-3 potential environmental/well-being quality of life goals for your horse.
- Write down 1-3 potential goals that could be potentially fun for you and your horse
- Go back up to the PAUSE, BREATH, CONNECT ==> FEEL PROCESS ABOVE as you consider each of these goals.
- Finally, end your activity with GRATITUDE for yourself, your horse and the relationship you share. 💕
Need help, or want to talk about this with an +R trainer experienced in this method? We’re here for you. Contact: [email protected]
