🐴  If Horses Could Talk...Could doing Less Bring You Closer to your Horse?

calm connection relax Jul 16, 2025
Sometimes, I swear the horse in front of me is saying, “I really appreciate everything you’re doing… but could you just relax and BE with me?” And depending on the horse, I can almost imagine a sassier one saying, “Hey Lady—literally, HAY! Just back off, feed me, and be with me, would ya? Stop worrying. I’m not dying here, and I don’t need a full inspection or a Kevlar overcoat every single day!” 😆

Yes, I jest🃏 (you know me!), but there's a deeper point to this. Horses are whole beings of their own. They’re here to share experiences with us, not to be “saved” in every single moment or perfected to fit our ideals. Of course, we want to care for them, help them, and make their lives better. But trying to make everything perfect about:
  • their health
  • their performance
  • their living situation
  • our relationship with them

    …can be impossible, exhausting, and even maddening. And sometimes, maybe it’s worth asking ourselves, “Am I doing this for you, my
    ...
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Calm Before the Storm can be Reality for You and your Horse

hurricane r+ trailer Jul 12, 2025

"A strained smile, a tentative way, and a worried look—that’s what I saw on the man in the rearview mirror as I pulled the horses down our drive, leaving my husband and dogs (blue heelers) behind. Up until that moment, I thought this evacuation was a load of crap, an aggravation and a waste of time. But seeing my rock of a husband’s face waiver as we left, I started to wonder: Would things ever be the same?

 The photos that popped up in Google inspiring me to write this post? They capture my last hurricane evacuation, driving away from the farm to take refuge in Georgia, thanks to generous friends of a friend.

What can't be seen seen in the photos of that time is the calm before the storm (horses loading well, trailer ready to go just needing a few quick check lists reviewed—or the flooding devastation that left my husband stranded, rescuing every animal he could, including feeding the neighbor's cattle... with our expensive horse hay!  (Yes, he and the bull became besties by the en
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📅Busy Schedule? Still Want Horse Training Feedback & Inspiration?

Uncategorized Jun 18, 2025
  "I can't make my online lesson this week because of work... I'm out of town all week, but I really want your feedback," a student texted me.
No problem — I reviewed her video and sent it back with detailed feedback. Her response?

👉 "This is fantastic. So helpful!!! I can't thank you enough."
I've been doing this for years for the online lesson subscribers when they have to miss. BUT, it gave me the idea to start offering the service to others whose lives don't lend themselves to regularly scheduled online coaching. These quick reviews are perfect for busy schedules — and still packed with value. 🙌

🎥✨ New! 15-Minute Video Reviews for Positive Reinforcement Training ✨🎥
Looking to fine-tune your sessions with your horse? 🐴 Whether you’re shaping a new behavior or navigating a sticky spot, I’m now offering bite-sized, powerful video reviews designed just for positive reinforcement trainers.
Here’s what you get: 🎙️ Voiceover feedback — Clear, kind, and practical insights ...
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🌸REDISCOVER CONNECTION WITH YOUR HORSE🌸

Uncategorized Jun 04, 2025

Beyond the Saddle
 

"It's not about what you can do, but what you choose to do."
 

Not that there’s anything wrong with riding or to say that you’ll never get to ride your horse again, but given that there are times when we simply cannot...
 

So often, it’s not about whether our horse *can* do something; it’s about whether it’s *fair* to ask it of them—and of ourselves. Many kindhearted equestrians, particularly women in middle age or older, feel the pull to *do X* with their horse, driven by the ticking of time and the desire to create memories while they still can. Sometimes it's the horse’s age that limits them; sometimes it’s our own.
 

It’s a bittersweet reality: the years bring both blessings and burdens. Family responsibilities, changing physical abilities, and the unyielding biological clock can make the dream of riding feel distant. And yet, our horses are still there—beautiful, present, and ready to connect.
 

My own experience as a lifelong equestrian has taught me that true...

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🐘 What Elephants Teach Us About Trust—and What That Means for Our Horses

compassionate training Apr 23, 2025

                           Elephants, Enrichment and the Power of Positive Reinforcement

I came across a fascinating study recently (thanks to Rachel Bedingfield 🙏) that beautifully supports something many of us have seen with our own horses:
When animals associate their experiences with something positive, they become more optimistic and resilient—even in uncertain situations.

Here’s what the researchers found:

🧠 Elephants used past experiences—and the emotional value of those experiences—to make decisions about ambiguous situations.

🐘 They showed a clear "positive bias":

  • They approached an ambiguous positive cue 3x more often, and
  • Responded to it twice as quickly compared to a cue associated with a negative experience.

In contrast, when the ambiguous cue was associated with something negative, they were slower and less likely to engage.

🐴 Why This Matters for Our Horses

This is the emotional groundwork of what we do every day with compassionate, positive reinforcement (R+)...

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💙 Reflections from the Round Pen 💙

enjoy horses gratitude Apr 16, 2025

Standing by the round pen, I found myself deep in thought…“Should this horse be further along by now?” I wondered.

But then I reminded myself, “Nope, he’s exactly where he needs to be, considering his journey and where we started.” %

And yet, a small voice crept in, “But what would other people think if they didn’t know the whole story? Would they think all of this training has been a waste?

Just as quickly, my heart and soul answered: “NOT!” beating back that ego-driven doubt.

🛑HARD STOP.

Thankfully, my higher self took over, reminding me how far this horse has come—from terrified to trusting, from panicking over basic handling to calmly accepting healthcare. This horse, who once feared even a light drizzle, now has the confidence to be ridden in the rain. Watching him in this moment, I couldn’t help but reflect… 

  • What if we all focused on how far we and our horses have come instead of how far we still have to go?
  • What if we focused on the Gain, not the Gap (thank you,...
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Interested in positive reinforcement but don't want to leave your Conventional Horse Training Skills behind??? 🐴

Uncategorized Apr 02, 2025

You don't have to! You can use positive reinforcement selectively and begin to experience the power of positive while enhancing your connection, and improving your horse’s trust, confidence and well being. No need to wait to dip your toe in and get started.

 
You likely spent a lot of time and money 💰 on your current skill set and training and chances are you’ve got some good things going on with your horse already.


Exploring compassionate training techniques doesn’t mean forgetting everything you already know, BUT IT CAN HELP YOU CLICK WITH YOUR HORSE IN A WHOLE NEW WAY.

Discover the power of positive reinforcement!
 
You don't have to abandon your current skills. Simply add positive reinforcement to your training toolbox and watch your understanding of each other and the bond you share grow. 💙

My Advice for conventional equestrians interested in exploring R+:
 
  • Choose one behavior, just one and shape or reshape it using reward based training.

    This is a gre
    ...
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Want to Make the Most of every Training Session with your Horse? 🐴✨

Uncategorized Mar 19, 2025
Let's turn your training sessions into playful adventures!
 
Here's the secret: Reflect, Reevaluate, and Reshape! 🧠💡
  • Before: Set your intentions and visualize various training plan options. (Let go of expectations)
  • During: Stay present, keep it light hearted and playful and adjust your approach as needed based on your horse’s responses.
  • After: Reflect on what worked and what you’d like to see happen differently and remember to be grateful for the time that you GET to spend with your equine friends!
Remember, it's all about having fun and experimenting!
 
Create a positive and rewarding experience for both you and your horse…Have fun and build a bond that lasts a lifetime!
 
PS Compassionate Horse Click has a ton of resources to help you do this very thing. Message Melissa for Details: +1 (910) 471-5445

+R for Practical Horse People Live Clinic in Burgaw NC April 4-6 https://www.compassionatehorseclick.com/clinics-and-events
...
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Ever Wish You Could Get your Horse to Drink?

Uncategorized Mar 12, 2025

Regrets from the road...On a recent trip with a young horse recently, I watched my own horse drink readily and frequently while the youngster wasn't so sure of doing this on the trailer. Oh how I wish I had thought not only to condition drinking on the trailer for the young horse and also regretted having not put it on cue. Thankfully, it was a short trip and I brought salt for his food.

BUT, what a great winter weather activity and one that can be done in small spaces too. 

Considering training your horse to drink on cue???

🪣It can be done through:

  • capturing the horse drinking and rewarding with food after they are finished, and eventually adding a cue.
  • Or it may be done by shaping the behavior through selective bridging and feeding as the horse get's closer to the water.
  • Of course, it can help to have a horse that is already thirsty such as one that has recently consumed salt, has just been worked, or is coming in from the sun on a warm day etc. 
  • You might be wondering do I cl...
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Is Sending your Horse to a Trainer a Bad Idea?

Uncategorized Mar 05, 2025

Have Reservations about Sending Your Horses to Professional Trainers including those Who use Positive Reinforcement? Totally understandable. Sometimes it's the best thing ever and other times....well you've heard the stories. (this is first post in a series about myths and sending your horse to a trainer)

As horse owners, we know how deeply connected we are to our equine friends. The bond you share is unique and special, filled with moments of joy, challenge, and growth. But when it comes to considering sending your horse to a professional trainer, it’s completely normal to feel a mix of excitement and apprehension as you want the best for your horse. You might worry about your horse’s well-being, the training methods used, or even what others might think. Such a valid way to feel.

❇️  Let’s take a moment to explore some myths surrounding professional training, particularly those that use positive reinforcement, and hopefully ease your concerns.

**Myth 1: Professional Trainers Only Use Hars...

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