The Compassionate Horse Click

🌸 How can we fully enjoy our horses… when riding may no longer be an option?🌸

Uncategorized Feb 12, 2025

Sometimes, it’s not about what we *do* with our horses, but how we *show up* for them. As compassionate horsewomen, there are times when riding isn't possible or fair—to us or our horses. What’s an equestrian to do when “the dream” doesn’t match reality?

So often, I hear, "I want to enjoy this horse, but I need it to DO X." It's a real and honest feeling that, if the horse can’t do X, we’re often conditioned to think we need to move on to the next horse.

I hear this often, especially from those of us facing aging—whether it’s our own, our horse’s, or both. Riding may be our heart's calling, yet life asks us to adapt, which can be tough from an emotional and/or identity standpoint. And we need to consider what’s best for the horses and our own safety too.

My Auntie’s Story

I’ve seen it firsthand with my Auntie, a lifelong horsewoman in her 70s. Even though riding isn’t possible for her due to family responsibilities and physical issues, her bond with her horse has deepe...

🌟 Finding It Hard to Stay the Course? You’re Not Alone. 🌟

behavior positive reinforcement horse training Feb 05, 2025

Let’s talk about the truth of R+ training with horses. Maybe someone told you:

You’re discouraged because you’re not doing it right.

You haven’t been doing it long enough or with enough repetitions.

You’re not a professional.

Or... your horse is just “different.”

Spoiler alert: most of them are. And while some of this may be true, I’m here to tell you something important—what you’re feeling might actually be a normal part of the learning curve.

If you’re out there doing this on your own without guidance or mentorship, it’s not surprising that it feels hard sometimes. You’re not alone in doubting yourself or the process. We’ve ALL been there. Even those of us who have been doing this for years—and have seen firsthand the amazing, life-changing results—experience doubt occasionally.

Here’s the thing: just because it’s uncomfortable, unfamiliar, or challenging doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. The juice is 100% worth the s...

Stuck in small places with your horse this winter and at a loss for what to do with your horse???

Uncategorized Jan 29, 2025

Those of us in the more southern hemisphere’s may not be able to relate but if you’re like the lady who took this photo of her horse after what seemed like endless snow storms, you may be looking for something fun to do with your horse that doesn’t require being outdoors or a lot of space until spring arrives. If you think about it, we train most behaviors start with very small steps (no pun intended)!

Most all of these can be done in the stall or aisleway and with positive reinforcement, your horse is likely to be keen to interact no matter the weather.

Regardless of your locale and weather, here are a some fun and useful examples of things you can do with your horse this winter to created connection, confidence and clear communication that will serve you both well in warmer weather.

Target Games

Send to a stationary target (we start literally with the target very close by)

Teach a hold or to stay (mat or other stationary target can be helpful) ...

When to Seek Professional Help: A Guide for R+ Horse Enthusiasts 🐴

behavior lessons training Jan 22, 2025

“Should I send my horse to training

Should I engage a professional to help

How do I know

”

These are questions that I am commonly asked and for good reason. Your horse’s well being is involved and training can be the biggest source of enrichment and factor in determining quality of life for you both.

As compassionate horse enthusiasts, we are often involved in attempting to train our horses using positive reinforcement methods. While it's a wonderful approach that fosters a strong connection and a lot of clarity and mutual communication between horse and human, there may be times when we need additional support - not always an easy decision because of our emotional attachment and concern for our horses. Here's a breakdown of when to consider seeking professional help, lessons, or sending your horse to training:

When to Seek Professional Help

Persistent Behavioral Issues: If you're consistently struggling to shape a specific response or behavior, especially if ov...

Embracing Winter with Your Horse

Uncategorized Jan 18, 2025

Winter often feels like a hurdle in the horse world. The cold, wet days, limited daylight, and storms rolling in can easily steal our enthusiasm and derail our plans. I've heard a lot of it lately:

• "I haven't been able to do anything with my horse."

• "It's too cold and wet."

• "The snow and storms are endless.

Believe me, I get it. I live on a farm and have horses too. And after hearing a chorus of these sentiments from students during my day, I thought, If I had a dollar for every person lamenting winter's impact on their horse life, I'd be buying my horse a new blanket right now!

But then I remembered the card sitting on my dresser, and it reminded me of something important:

"Love where you are now."

It's easy to focus on what winter takes away, but what if we reframed it? Winter offers us unique opportunities that no other season does:

• Slower Pace, Deeper Connection

Spend more time bonding with your horse through gro...

Ears... does your horse love having theirs touched, handled, and inspected?

cues ears games health Dec 17, 2024

Ear handling isn't just about health; it's about building trust, confidence and choice through +R horse training (positive reinforcement).

Watch this quick game of "Here's my Ear" to see how you can make ear handling a joyful experience for your horse in any situation:

Tips for mastering ear handling with your horse: You may want to...

Start with your horse at liberty in protected contact, but on a lead where they can clearly step away will work if you don't have the option to do liberty/protected contact in a stall or paddock, etc.
Begin by presenting your hand at a comfortable distance from the horse's ear. Bridge/click and feed whenever the horse allows you to get closer, regardless of the distance.
Gradually reduce the distance between your hand and the ear, continuing to reinforce the horse for calm acceptance. Slow down and increase the distance if the horse is showing concern.
Slowly introduce gentle touch and handling, always bridging and feeding for positive respon...

🌿💖 Experiencing Gratitude With And For Our Horses 💖🌿

Uncategorized Dec 12, 2024

If I had a dollar for every time someone has said to me, “But I bought/got this horse so I could…trail ride, do horse things with my friends, jump, show, go to clinics, ride around my yard, learn to – you fill in the blank.” - And the heartbreaking reality is that they are far from being able to enjoy whatever it is that they planned to at the outset of their decision to own a horse.

So often, especially during the beginning of a coaching relationship, no matter how much the person loves their horse – the frustration and disappointment with what is going on with their horse, or what isn’t, comes across no matter how hard the horse owner tries not to show it. It’s so hard for us humans who give our all to our horse’s well-being, to understand why we can’t do what we would like to do with our horses - what we think we "should" be able to do with them.

I know. I’ve been there, once upon a time. And now, I talk to people who are living the loss of a dream on a regular basis, riding...

Horse Training Doesn't Equal Restraint!

Uncategorized Nov 14, 2024

Confession: I once said, "As a professional, I will never hand-feed a horse..." If you know me now, you're likely shocked or laughing! 😆

🥕 As we know, many people avoid using food in training, and in some circles, “clicker training” is practically a cuss word. I get it—I was in those circles once too. Maybe you were too? And honestly, I understand the hesitation, because any training method done poorly can create problems and that includes training with food. But here’s the thing: food is only an issue when it’s misused or used incorrectly by the trainer. Yet somehow, using food gets a bad rap, while force, coercion, and fear are often accepted as standard practice.

Why is this okay?

🤷‍♀️ Why is it that we’re horrified by human slavery, but barely bat an eye at expecting absolute obedience from horses, even when they’re scared, in pain, or biologically wired to flee? We know they’re sensitive, gentle beings, so shouldn’t we find a softer, kinder way to communicate with them?

There ...

Compassionate Equestrians Share about their Live R+ Experiences - Positively Inspiring!

clinic r+ Nov 07, 2024

One inspiring story comes from Jennifer, a compassionate equestrian in her 70s, who found Melissa’s R+ / compassionate teachings after a life-changing fall from her horse. The accident left her with multiple surgeries and an arena-phobic horse. With Melissa’s positively reinforcing online coaching, however, Jennifer’s bond with her horse, Brooks, transformed in extraordinary ways.

After working with Melissa and reward based training, Brooks now follows Jennifer around like an adoring puppy, matching her steps and joyfully playing with her in the very arena he once feared. Jennifer describes their relationship as “closer than ever,” and says both she and Brooks have found a level of happiness they never imagined.

When asked about auditing Melissa’s clinics, Jennifer was overjoyed to share:

“I loved being with like-minded people, learning more about +R, and exploring problem-solving strategies. Such an uplifting experience! Melissa’s clinics focus on BE...

AROUSAL IS NOT A DIRTY WORD - We need a level of arousal for our horses to be in an optimal learning state

anxiety arousal hormonal profiles r+ Oct 31, 2024

AROUSAL IS NOT A DIRTY WORD, although sometimes it's easy to get that impression from R+ communities online - The TRUTH is (per the science) that we need a level of arousal for our horses to be in an optimal learning state, though it's also true, over arousal can confound the training process and bring the horse too close to a hormonal profile that can easily lead to anxiety.

Arousal and hormones, we talk about it a lot within the CHC R+ community / membership. This white board is a visual from a recent Compassionate Horse Click Clinic (emphasizing the need for horses and humans to feel SAFE and HAPPY when we are together for optimal learning and success to occur in training.

🙂Safe and Happy was also the topic of a recent presentation/demo that I did at an international behavior conference (#IAABC). It was there I realized, that a visual depicting how some arousal is necessary for optimal learning to occur, could really simplify this concept. This one still needs perfecting but it ...

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When to Seek Professional Help

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